Peer Pressure: Navigating the Middle School Sea of Students



You think of your child in middle school following the “wrong” crowd while you’re not there to remind your child of all those things you said for yeeeeeaarrsss and you want to scream, “Stoooooop!”


You listen while sunk in an office chair the school principal relaying about a situation in which your normally kind child followed a “leader” to belittle another student, and you just want to shout to the heavens, “How do I get him/her to see this clearly?” Fear wells up in you. “How much further will my child go with this group? How do I change the course of his/her direction?”


Peer pressure will always exist. Some people will always feel it is important to influence others or that getting others to do their bidding is the only way to get ahead or to obtain a certain status. They manipulate others for their own benefit. Any, why not? There seems to be plenty of willing participants.


People who do this are not displaying leadership, but personal imbalance, someone who feels very “off,” or someone who is like a leaf in the wind desperately trying to gain control over his or her life. While this may seem quite bold to say, it is truth. Allow me explain because understanding the thinking behind peer pressure will enable anyone to avoid it in the future and positively address current situations.


Think of Jesus, Mother Theresa, Buddha, or anyone else who is filled with complete love. Can you see these people being manipulative, conniving, or pressuring? Nope. So, the answer to all conflict including peer pressure is pure love. It really is that simple. Our natural state is love so when a person feels less than love, there is an internal trigger that feels weird, off, icky, and downright blah. What is a person to do?


Some of us find a means to raise our vibrations like friends, pets, healthy food, exercise, or meditation to elevate oneself back to love or near love. From his higher vibe, no one feels like being mean, manipulative, or pressuring. From his state of existence, a person will feel joy, peace, and cooperation. No peer pressure needed!


However, some don’t know how to raise personal vibration. They stay stuck in the weird, off, icky, and blah feeling. This makes them do whatever it takes to temporarily hide the ickiness. These actions include peer pressure never end with feeling better which is why bullies don’t change without positive intervention. This is why group leaders keep doing things to keep everyone in line unless they’re given the path to truly raising their vibrations. 


Choose, Groove, Move is the subtitle of a book series I’ve written for middle school/teen students. Choose, groove, move is a simple and easy to remember method for students to use for any situation.


Choose: we always have options with everything so there are options, literally, at every turn. We get to make decisions, thankfully! It’s the fun part of Earthly living! Choose is selecting from the plethora of options. 


Groove: this is the step that is so often overlooked and the reason many follow the wrong crowd. It’s why many normally kind students are mean just because the group is doing it – they skip or ignore this internal knowingness that oozes out of us in the form of feelings. Grooving is listening to one’s gut area – the solar plexus energy center. This area of our bodies provides 100% accurate feedback to guide us…if we are listening to it. 


“If it’s a good vibe you know, then go! If you feel less than great, hesitate.” I just love that jingle that came through me when writing the Choose, Groove, Move books! Simple, right? Yes, but failing to listen to one’s feelings seems to happen quite often no matter one’s age. Teaching this all important step will be the STOP!, HALT!, WHOA! THIS DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT! you and your child are looking for. 


Move: go forth with inspired actions. This means that once a selection is made (choose) and one’s body grooves with it (it’ll feel really, really good!), then proceed. It’ll feel light and fluffy. There won’t be any resistance. 


Those who manipulate others or lead them down negative paths feel off and need to be taught the Choose, Groove, Move method. Those who enter middle school doors (or high school doors or office doors) must be taught this method before entering.


In conclusion, raise your child’s vibration (and yours, too) with healthy foods, positive home environment, positive communication, and exercise so to be able to be filled with love. Instill the Choose, Groove, Move method for any situation! 


For thorough explanation and discussion of the Choose, Groove, Move method, see my books on amazon. 

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