Lizabeth Jenkins-Dale

Veteran teacher, mom, and author sharing empowerment strategies for middle schoolers and their parents to make these years wonderful, awesome, successful, and thrilling!



I can vividly remember graduating from 8th grade and wondering tremendously about high school. I can vividly remember graduating from high school and wondering tremendously about college. I can vividly remember graduating from college and wondering tremendously about my first job. 



After all this wondering and all the twists and turns my life took since May of 1990, I can completely convey to any graduate of an academic standing that, “THERE IS A PLACE FOR YOU!”



Don’t these youngsters need this reminder? AND, don’t we adults need this reminder? How do their graduations apply to those of us who already graduated? There are many things we can remember or learn from this time in their lives so read on.



Just as my life did a couple of unexpected loop-d-loops on the thrilling rollercoaster ride called Lizabeth, I realize now that if I could tell my 13 year old self, my 17 year old self, and my 21 year old self not to worry and this universal truth: “There is a place for your at every step of your life,” then I would have relaxed much more.






There is so much emphasis to go and “get” your life, to make it happen, and to go out into the world and find your path. But, is there a different way than blindly going about making it happen? I believe there is. Knowing this method today will help everyone right now in this moment to BE on their life paths in a much shorter time experience. 



First, though, one has to believe that there is a place for each of us. Otherwise, negative competition becomes paramount. Greed enters in. Lack mentality drives the ambition to find one’s place, and this is quite an unnatural, unproductive, and negative way of going about it.



Truth #1: Each and every being on Earth right now came here purposely, pre-life divinely planned, and wanted to be here with much, much eagerness. Without going into this too much, let it be understood that before entering a physical body on Earth, there was a “meeting” with your soul group, your mentors aka spirit guides, God/Divine Source/Creator, and any other high white light beings such as Jesus to discuss what you’d like to experience, do, and create with this life that you’re in now.



The soul group is important to know about because undoubtedly you have run into these some of these people already. Some of these experiences were pleasant exchanges. Very pleasant. Supportive. Loving. Fun. Some of these experiences were not so fun. Not all soul-mate encounters are pleasant, but are useful in that the meeting was agreed upon prior to your arrival on Earth and was arranged for your highest good or highest learning. (This is not stating that free will doesn’t exist. We do have free will to react to the yearning to interact with others or not.)



It’s quite a wonderfully complex subject so I’ll move on from it for now. But, the important take away from this truth is that YOU ARE HERE FOR AN IMPORTANT, PURPOSEFUL REASON that was pre-discussed. Now, why would all that fuss take place before you got here if you weren’t super important? On a very important life path? On a personal fulfilling mission? We are all important! We all are on life paths! We all are on personal fulfilling missions. Yes, there is a place for you!



Truth #2: Look around you. What do you see? If there is a place for all those things, there’s a place for you. Dust has its place. Pens have their places. Clothes on hangers have their places (as well as the pieces of clothes on the floor.) Trees know this. Ants know this. Rocks know this. Weeds know this. It’s time for you to know this. You have a definite place in this world. 



Truth #3: If you are still here, you are still involved with the creation of your mission. Those who have already exited their physical bodies, completed their missions. 



There are no guarantees of a long life. Some of us agree to hang out on Earth for a short time because that is all that is needed. Why would anyone hang out in third grade longer than needed? Why would anyone stay at the amusement park after it’s locked and closed? When an experience is complete, it’s time to move onto the next one. (For a more thorough explanation of this interesting subject, read Empowering Kids: Death, Dying, and Suicide.)



If you are still having this experience in your body, then your life’s plan is still unfolding. How exciting is that? So there is a place for your because if your life plan was complete, then you’d already be back in spirit form out of your body. It’s really simple, right? Here in a body – your life’s plan is still in motion and there’s a definite place for you. Not here in your body – your life’s plan is complete. 


Truth #4: Fortunately, this is another really simple truth to understand. The way to be on your life’s plan is to follow your soul-led feelings. Good feelings indicate you are on or headed to your path. Negative/off feelings indicate you are not on nor headed to your path. (Soul-led feelings are not temporary ones like sudden anger. Need to go deeper for soul-led feelings.) 



Let’s say a graduate is applying to various post-high school educational avenues. If Graduate A gets super excited about completing a technical school’s application, then this is most likely a soul-led feeling leading to a life’s plan. If Graduate A is in dragging-feet mode about applying to colleges, then this is most likely not a soul-led feeling leading to a life’s plan. 



If Graduate B gets wonderful stomach butterflies about an internship or a job to gain experience before applying to schools, then this is most likely a soul-led feeling leading to a life’s plan. If Graduate B gets uncomfortable stomach butterflies about delaying post-high school education, then this is the indication to complete school applications as soon as possible.



It’s a simple, divinely-given method when it’s used. The problem is that we humans are not taught to listen to our Divine Wisdom, to listen to it on a regular basis, and to know it even exists. How many ways are we taught or directed to listen to others? Media? Those in apparent authority? 



It’s super important that for world peace to exist we all know and use the built-in Divine Wisdom that came with us when entering these bodies on this Earthly experience. Yes, world peace. Quote from my website:


Lizabeth states, “We are all spirits in borrowed body suits on life journeys trying to have the best experiences right now. Peace exists when every person feels empowered to live his or her life to the fullest utilizing the complex life matrix to achieve personal dreams for the benefit of all.”



This is how life helps you find your path, keeps you on your path, and nudges you back on your path if you go “off-road.” Your Individual Divine Wisdoms embedded within you is Life (Creator/God/Divine Source) is talking to you. It’s one of the ways for communication, and I think it’s the easiest one! 






Wow! That’s quite a title to this post! How would I know what to do? Who am I…Gandhi? Jesus? Buddha? Mother Teresa? In a very real way, we are all these beings we treasure. And, this means, we all have access to their Divine Wisdom to know how to effectively and peacefully bring about world peace. I’ve been tapping into it for over a decade now. It is my intention to explain here how you can tap into it, too…unless you’ve already been doing it. Then, you know what I’m writing about here. Perhaps, this is a notice to practice peace effectively more consciously on a daily basis because…


Time Is Of Essence. Global pressure has been building and is currently at a high level. The butterfly effect of the recent Ukraine invasion has produced ripples into everyone’s heart, mind, and energy fields. No matter the degree we are focusing on the invasion, it is affecting us all. Why? Why this invasion when there have been others in recent history? Why is this Russian/Ukraine issue producing such global concern and focus?



Old Energy. It’s old energy. It’s outdated energy. For those of us who know that pure, positive energy is blasting around, to, and through Earth, this surfacing of old, outdated invasion-of-another-country energy is triggering us into awareness. (And, for this awareness, we can be thankful. Not thankful for the event, but for the result of the event that allowed us to be brought into awareness.)


We can see two main responses to this awareness: some people are in anger and action while others are going within utilizing Earth’s connective grid and unseen positive energies to bring about newness.



Out With The Old and In With The New. This newness is kicking old energy to the curb. This newness is lighter, feels really good, feels like relief, feels like layers of heavy garbage being lifted off, feels like, “Oh! This is the way we are truly meant to live.” It’s where we all are headed, but as many of us as possible need to heed the awareness and practice daily, conscious focus on peace as described below because time is of essence. 



Fortunately, there are some humans who have a strong protective, soldier energy within them. (We all have this energy within us, but some of us have it so strong that it’s a life style or a career choice.) These are the ones who felt called to be part of the military, Peace Corps, or other organizations who can make hands-on impact. Many thanks to these brave people. As long as this type of response is done with peace energy vs. anger energy, it will be effective. Anger vs. anger creates anger. 



Our Grand Human Opportunity Is Here…Now. Choice. We all have choice when it comes to anything that surfaces in our lives. I’ve written this statement over and over in my posts and books that Divine Wisdom gave me years ago: “You are never stuck. Your child is never stuck. You always have options with everything.”


It is choice time for every single human to decide not only with big situations like the Ukraine situation, but with every day situations such as experiencing rude driving, gossiping, political inconsistencies, or financial concerns what will be my choice response and how will I do it?


It is choice that we catch ourselves when being triggered with life’s current events and say, “Ah ha! I caught myself being pulled out of peace. I choose peace even though ______________ is happening.” Then, a re-centering happens and POP! we return back into peace knowing that this is adding onto all the other people popping back into peace consciously. (And, when you do this, parents, you are modeling a very important life strategy for your kids. The younger Earthlings also add unto Earth’s peace by being guided back to their own peace and tapping into Divine Wisdom.) 


Effective peacemaking can be done both on the ground in conflict location and from the chair in which you sit…right now. Will you choose to tap into the Divine Wisdom that is literally within you at the Soul level that Jesus, Mother Teresa, Buddha, Gandhi, and others demonstrated for us?


This is one way to tap into Divine Wisdom:

  • Get settled in your body. This means to focus on your body. Feel yourself in your body. Sense that you are more than skin, organs, and bones. There is a vitality running through each of your cells. There is a buzz, energy, or vibe that permeates you. When you sense it, it’ll feel good…really good. It’ll feel peaceful. (You can do this while driving your car, but be sure to keep your senses alert, eyes open, and your driving awareness keen.)
  • See your energy or see this vibe being extended out from you about five to ten feet in a sphere. 
  • Ask for the Highest White Light to surround you and this sphere for protection permanently and completely. 
  • Shoot down from your feet into Earth a thick column of white light. Go as far as you’d like… something like five miles deep or deeper into Earth. 
  • Shoot up from your head into deep space a thick column of white light. Go as far as you’d like. See where your column of white light goes.
  • While maintaining these columns of white light that run from the depths of Earth through your entire body up out of your head to space and your sphere of white light, see others around the globe doing the same thing…because they really are!
  • See your white light literally connecting with their beams, columns, and spheres of white light creating a network of connection. Soon, you’ll see that the Earth is covered with white light.


This light comes from deep within Earth, a Divine being just like we are, to the surface and around the globe and also connecting with white light of beings (angels, Jesus, Mother Teresa, Buddha, Gandhi and others) so that Earth becomes a brilliant, huge ball of white light for all of the galaxy to witness. It’s beautiful! In this state, peace abounds. 


Negativity can not exist in the presence of white light. Period. This is why this conscious peacemaking from your chair is so effective. It is real. It is extremely helpful to kicking old energy to the curb where it is disintegrated into nothingness or no-thing. It is replaced with the powerful, wonderful, loving white light of peace.


Sense your body now. Feels pretty good, right? This practice can be done in one minute.

  • It can be done while waiting for a red light to turn green.
  • It can be done while waiting to see the dentist.
  • It can be done while waiting to pick up your kids from school.
  • It can be done right before you fall asleep.
  • It can be done before you rise in the morning.
  • It can be done while doing dishes, laundry, or mowing the grass.


AND, it can be done:

  • when someone gossips about you
  • when someone cuts you off while driving
  • when someone takes your parking spot
  • when someone on TV says something stupid, biased, manipulative, or misleading
  • when someone irritates you 


Soon, you’ll find that you maintain this state of white light awareness all the time. It is effective peacemaking while you live your day. It’s lovely world, yes? 







It’s March and it’s time for the mid-year school check up. Or, is it a check in? Certainly, it is NOT a check out! It could be a check with or a check about… No matter how you want to name it, March is an excellent time to see how things are going, make adjustments, and make plans for the remainder of the school year.


Suggestions for doing this well, peacefully, and with your teen’s cooperation:

  1. Contact Teachers. If it is not near the time for an end of a quarter when you’ll be receiving an official report card, contact your child’s teachers for an updated social and academic progress. How best to obtain your child’s teachers’ attentions is thoroughly explained in Chapter 11 titled “Parent Communication” in my book, Creating and Managing for Wonderful, Awesome, Successful, and Thrilling Middle School Experiences, but for now in this blog I’ll just state the best way to obtain the teachers’ attentions is by email.
  2. Gather All The Information. Use many points of information non-judgmentally, from an observer’s point of view, to have a co-creative conversation planned ahead of time – meaning, it’s on the family calendar and not sprung on your child, to co-creatively create solutions for a better, smoother, easier, more cooperative, and more pleasant slide into the summer months from this point forward. These points of information can include, but are not limited to: the updated social and academic progress report from your child’s teachers, a list of what happens in your child’s daily routine, a list of what happens in your child’s weekly routine, a mental check in (on a scale of 1-10, how do you feel you are handling all the elements of your life?), an emotional check in (how to do you feel about these things?), a check in with your child’s sports, or extracurricular coaches/leaders…in other words, it’s a thorough check in you’re doing with your child. Gather all the information from all parts of your teen’s life.
  3. Begin Co-Creatively. How you do this conversation will directly affect the rest of your conversations with your child. If this one goes poorly, confrontationally, or negatively, your teen will not ever want to have another conversation with you again. So, with any topic, you always have options with how this conversation goes/occurs/unfurls. Assuming you enjoy peaceful conversations and want to always have open, pleasant conversation with your child, begin stating these things such as, “I love you more than you’ll ever know or understand until you’re a parent. This is a co-creative conversation meaning you and I have equal say and input. I value how you see things from your perspective, and I am most interested in hearing what you have to say. We are on the same team. I’m excited about creating solutions with you because you know our family lives in The Land of Possibility.”
  4. Create Two Lists. From an observer’s point of view only, unemotionally, and non-judgmentally, discuss what is going well. List each and every item. Hopefully, this list will be super long! What’s a challenge? List each and every item. This is the list that will be the focus for solutions.
  5. Create a L O N G list of solutions. This is the fun part! Living in The Land of Possibility IS fun! List all the possibilities without judgement. Just list ’em! Listing ideas doesn’t mean they’re going to happen. It means you and your child are going to dive deep into possibilities. It means you and your child are going to dwell, bask, soak, stay, lounge, loll, and enjoy the positive energy that comes from listing possibilities. This is super important! Have fun! Keep this list because it is so empowering. Add more to it in the days, months, years to come.
  6. Decide what will create a win-win outcome. This is when your longer human experience than your child’s human experience comes into play. You can guide your child to the possible solutions that are reasonable and doable, will create a win-win solution, and will have long-lasting positive effect. Guiding here is optimal. Allow your child to feel he or she is picking the solutions… that you agree with. The ownership with the solutions will serve you, your child, and your family well. If your child picks the solution instead of you telling  which ones will work best, your child has ownership. There is a MUCH higher chance of success if your child feels he or she is selecting from the options. My daughter tells me now that she always knew she had choice and options and felt I allowed her to make her own decisions, but realizes that I was always right there guiding her. This is empowered parenting! This is co-creative parenting at its best!
  7. Reiterate options. So that you can always have these conversations in the future for any subject, repeat, repeat, repeat that you are on the same team, that you always have option with everything, and that your family lives in The Land of Possibility all the time.


Enjoy the benefits of this type of parenting. Relish in it. Pat yourself on the back. Say out loud, “I’m am awesome parent! I love being a parent! Parenting is fun!” Enjoy!




I listened! Middle School Years Without Tears: Creating and Managing for Wonderful, Awesome, Successful, and Thrilling Middle School Experiences is now available in paperback! 


If you’re the type of person who loves to hold, look at, and smell a book in your hands, then the good news is that this book is available in paperback. Get your copy today and incorporate EMPOWERED middle school parenting into your life!


The following is an excerpt from the book, Middle School Years Without Tears: Creating and Managing for Wonderful, Awesome, Successful, and Thrilling Middle School Experiences. 


Socrates had a good teaching protocol way back in the 300s BC. He encouraged learning through the questioning from his students. He drew answers out of them because he believed the answers were already inside of them. Socrates understood the satisfaction he could have regarding teaching was dependent on the satisfaction his students were having. It’s a symbiotic relationship: a relationship where both parties are benefit and neither is damaged.


Your child’s teachers may or may not be in synch with such a relationship. Your child’s teachers may not be anywhere near this understanding, but the fact remains, these are your child’s teachers so, how can you help your child have a positive experience with all of her teachers anyway? Here are some strategies and suggestions to do just that.



Your Student Communicates First

Encourage your child to communicate first with the teachers on his or her own before you, the parent, intervene. This promotes speaking up for oneself, learning how to communicate to a person in authority, and how to maintain positive relations regardless of a favorable outcome or not. Invaluable confidence can develop during such personal contact. The student learns to negotiate an issue, concern, or problem. A teacher may offer an alternative or compromise to the student’s request and this provides fertile soil for developing negotiating skills with others.


Before and during classes are the least effective and the least desired ways to go about communicating with teachers. Teachers are quite preoccupied at these times especially at the beginning of the lesson. It is to a student’s benefit to be wise about the timing and the approach. There are many commonsense, positive ways to do this.


  • Upon entering the classroom, a student can ask to speak to the teacher after class.
  • Upon entering the room, give the teacher a note regarding speaking to the teacher after class.
  • E-mail the teacher to schedule a time to talk.
  • Talk to the teacher during lunch.
  • Talk to the teacher during the teacher’s planning time with prior approval.


Approaching the teacher is just as important as the conversation itself. This teaches the importance of how to get someone’s attention so that what you have to say is heard well.



For additional strategies to guide your child to communicate well with his or her middle school teachers, read Middle School Years Without Tears: Creating and Managing for Wonderful, Awesome, Successful, and Thrilling Middle School Experiences …now available in paperback.




We are in the midst of the 2022 Winter Olympics being held in Beijing. The topic of competition is a complex one, and since we all experience competition in our lives, it is an important one to thoroughly understand to live free.


I’ll start with a pertinent statement: When competition is understood, it is beneficial to all. When it is not understood, it can breed greed, corruption, hatred, and anger. With the intensity that competition is, it is vital to understand it and its function.


I’ll explain it in story form. Once upon a time, there were two colleges who were involved with an annual competition for a robotics trophy, award, honor, and title. These two colleges were always at the top of the competition year after year. During the school year, the professors and students worked hard to create, outthink the other school, and bring forth something new that would, for sure, win the competition in the current year. It became a topic of school pride for the entire school, which the administrators took notice and often had polite, but pointed conversations with the professors about the importance of winning the competition every year.


To assist the winning process, the administration offered nearly unending financial options to ensure yearly success. The administration also noted the exciting past outcomes from the competition which included not only recognition, but also financial gain through the created technology with the most recent robot that can assist with dementia, blind, and burn patients live independent lives. 


In this story, it is all focused upon pulling all resources of support toward the goals of creation. In this way, competition is at its best. It creates opportunity for discovery. It creates avenues for new thought. It creates the ability to produce ideas never before thought possible. It creates synergy among students, professors, administration, and community. Many people benefit. Students place their school’s participation on resumes for their future careers. Professors are awarded financial bonuses. Administration promises and delivers more financial backing to the sciences at the college. More people live independently than ever thought was possible. 


Of course, this story can sour at any point when competition is misunderstood. It teetered at the edge of negativity with the pressure from administration. Truth is that when there is a bit of urgency or need, great things can be created from that urgency or need. Certainly in cave times, the need and urgency for protection created safe homes. The need and urgency for food created hunting techniques. Then, the need and urgency for non-nomadic life created farming techniques. In the story of the two colleges, there is a need and urgency to keep the winning streak going for financial gain, honor, and notoriety. 


But, spying on the other school maliciously, jeopardizing their creation efforts, sabotaging their plans, defacing the school on social outlets, or bribing the judges are all what gives competition a bad name. In and of itself, competition is what strives us humans to be more than we ever thought we could be as displayed on a global scale with the Olympics every two years. Football records keep getting made and broken. The apparent limitations of our world keep getting pushed back as we humans do more than ever thought possible as in the current interest of space flight.


If someone performs an amazing feat such as high jump, it spurs on, incites, inspires, “lights the fire underneath” when another’s Soul whispers, “I can do that, too! In fact, I can jump higher!” In this very moment, what was not even a thought is now creation. Yes, competition is a wonderful thing for all of us when it is understood so that we can live free. By this, I mean we can create solutions in our own lives in the spirit of competition because what once was believed to be a stoppage, road block, or hinderance becomes the doable challenge. Had the catalyst of competition not burned a fiery start within someone, newness would not have been born. Achievement may lie idle awaiting the push to be discovered or completed. It is living free when we use the exterior world’s stimuli, often in the form of competition, to inspire us to personal greatness. 



These 100 mediations in this journal are meant to positively expand how you see the events and situations that your child experiences. How can you address them with empowered parenting? This book offers new perspective so that you can Embrace The Extraordinary Experience With Empowerment! Get your copy here:



So many times, we feel tossed about that life is swirling out of control around us. We get so twisted around that we want it to stop. This experience is the opposite of being grounded and balanced. It’s easier to talk about the opposite because it is all too familiar.


Being grounded and balanced is being able to find one’s calm in the midst of the hurricane. It’s knowing all is well despite any exterior circumstances. It’s knowing Who You Really Are from an eternal perspective. It’s a wellbeing calm that supersedes current and future situations, conversations, and events. It’s starting every day with an awareness that life is more than daily activities. It’s a constant connection to Divine Source superseding all Earthly transactions. It’s conducting one’s business through this awareness and perspective. Being grounded and balance takes effort, focus, and awareness, but is so worth it. It is essential to fully living one’s life path.


How many times do you witness your kids out of control? Overly emotional? Overly secluded? Defiant? You may say to them, “Cut it out! Calm down! Be quiet! Stop the drama!” What you are trying to say is, “Be grounded! Find your balance!”


So this blog’s information is for both the older humans on life journeys and the younger humans on life journeys.



We humans automatically implement a grounding and balancing action on a daily basis. It’s called sleeping. Interesting how this is an accepted, natural action that everyone does on a daily basis. It is required for our healthy living! But, what about the other techniques? Especially, the ones that can be done during the day? These are sometimes perceived as weird or strange. To me, they are as natural as sleeping.


Move, Walk, Exercise

The Divine Source life force is all around us…literally. And, when this life force isn’t in our bodies, we die. It’s called air. It is the single most important part of our Earthly living. When noticing you don’t feel grounded or balanced in your life, go for a walk and get air into your body. Breathe deeply. Exercise – even if it is right in your seat. You can move your body while stationary. Stretch and breathe. 


Change Clothes

Color, fabric type, cloth placement, and functionality of our clothes can affect us. The brighter the color, the better, comfortable fabric is best, how the cloth interacts with one’s body, and the clothes’ usefulness are all contributors to being irritated or feeling grounded and balanced as we go about our day. Changing clothes is very effective in altering one’s status. Many people change clothes after work to indicate a new period of activity has begun. We change clothes upon awakening from slumber to enter a new period of living. Consider changing clothes like changing one’s mindset. It works!


Hold Rocks, Crystals, Water

These grounding items literally are connected to Earth’s ground so it is not only symbolic, but a real technique for calming in midst of life’s swirl. Think of water and how it travels to every part of the Earth in one way or another. It carries Divine Source in it – hydrogen and oxygen. When you hold, drink, or look at water, you are connecting with all of Earth. The same water the dinosaurs drank is the same water you are drinking because water never leaves the Earth’s system. It is recycled and cleaned by Earth. Drinking water has the same effect especially when it is thoughtfully or mindfully drunk. Literally, you are drinking the Earth!


Think of crystals. They hold tight to the ground. It requires force to remove them from the ground. This tight connection with Earth can be transferred to you as you hold a crystal in your hands or next to your heart, or even just view them.


The same goes for rocks. Many are incredibly large. Mammoth. Just looking at one or touching one is grounding. How far has a rock traveled that shows up lakeside? Or, in a forest? What is its story? Are you already feeling calm just pondering these things?


Meditate, Listen To Music

Music has the ability to transform us from irritated to elated. The sound waves of meditative music are soothing so the music choice definitely can influence how well this works. Classical music’s sound waves are known to have positive effect as well as the sound of waves lapping the shoreline or the sound waves from a rainstorm. 


Meditating can be done anywhere and nearly any time. You at work or your child at school can go into a bathroom stall to meditate for at least 30 seconds. Let’s do it now: Close your eyes. Breathe deeply with a long exhale. Do this three times, if possible. See a connection starting from Earth as a bright white light shooting though the bottom of you feet to the top of your head progressing to the heavens. The white light expands into every part of your body. Its loving light envelopes you expanding in every direction completely filling a 5′ sphere around you. Take three more deep breaths and open your eyes. Feeling better? Yes!


Longer meditations are wonderful as well. Experiment with different choices of places, things, music, guided or not guided, background sound, and oh so many options!


Rearrange Furniture, Paint, Redecorate

Take a look around your office and home. What is stagnant? Where is a place new energy could be utilized to create balance? It could be as simple as moving a plant to a new location. Or, it could be a fun as painting a room. Again, brighter colors hold more positive energy.


Your child is never stuck. You are never stuck. You always have options with everything. The same is for grounding practices that bring about balance. Implement them into your life so that your children can see how you find your calm in the midst of a hurricane. Perhaps, you take three minutes to do this in the car before watching the soccer game with the other parents. Maybe, you consciously drink water while thanking it for its refreshment before an intense meeting. You have options with everything!




Okay…you’re LIVING the middle school experience along side of your kid. And, because of that, this book is for you! Just what is he doing all day? The facts are here…the realistic middle school descriptions written into this book just for you, the parents. As you read this book, you’ll feel like you are standing right there in the hallways of your child’s school. What is it like to be your daughter in middle school? How does she make it from class to class? The sights, sounds, AND smells are here awaiting your eyes to read…and experience.

After teaching middle school for 10 years, 14-time author, Lizabeth Jenkins-Dale brings the honest, no-holding-back truth of what it is like to be a middle schooler and a middle school teacher in today’s schools. This perspective gained will assist you to be the best middle school parent ever. With knowledge of what the experience is, you can be more understanding and supportive.

What does your middle schooler need after school? How to handle homework blues? What is personality experimentation and what are the benefits? What is the best approach when you catch your middle schooler lying? What options do you have when you find yourself in the principal’s office staring at another student’s parents over a classroom dispute? What is middle school common sense? What is the best way for you to speak about your child’s school to your friends, family, and your child? How can you guard your child from the barrage of requests to know his or her grades? What can you do about your child’s shortcomings? These questions and more are answered in this interactive book, which is packed full of useful information and strategies written by veteran educator and former middle school mom, Lizabeth Jenkins-Dale.



This is an excerpt from my book, Middle School Years Without Tears: Creating and Managing for Wonderful, Awesome, Successful, and Thrilling Middle School Experiences.



All communication styles change with different situations and places. For example, foul language, degrading content, or yelling is not tolerated at the school setting. Grocery stores, libraries, churches, movie theaters, banks, tennis matches, golf tournaments, or football playoffs all have different expectations and allowances of communication. Schools expect polite, low-toned, and respectful communication. This needs to be understood and demonstrated in schools, thus, the importance of finding ways that allow for student communication with some stronger emotions at home.


“I want to have communication with my child, but at times it is hard. Sometimes, I am at a loss for words. Sometimes my child acts so bizarre that I don’t know what to say!”


It must be stated here to be positive and steady. Remember, you are the one not on the middle school roller coaster. Your hormones are relatively stable as compared to a middle schooler. Keep asking about your child’s day, about friends, about homework and upcoming projects, and about future plans such as what would be a good weekend activity.


Can you embrace the bizarre? It’s middle school so ask what weird things happened during the day because weird things are always happening in middle school. Ask if anyone farted, vomited, put markers, erasers, or pencils up their noses, threw gum and missed the trash can, or fell asleep during classes.


Inquire about what your child ate for lunch, who spilled their food today, who made a greenish solution from all the leftover food and drink on the food tray, and who threw a grape tomato at someone. Find out who drooled on their desks, who skipped down the hall singing “Jingle Bells,” and what boy had 15 ponytails in his hair by the end of the day. (Yes, I’ve seen all of these!)


Probe if there was a fire drill today, who drew what on their hands and arms for middle schoolers view skin the same as paper, who did cartwheels down the hallway, and who supposedly kissed whom. All these things create the magic of middle school. It really is a wonderful, awesome, successful, and thrilling place!





This is an excerpt from my book, Middle School Years Without Tears: Creating and Managing for Wonderful, Awesome, Successful, and Thrilling Middle School Experiences.



Even though it’s important, many parents struggle with communication with their middle schooler.


“Everything seemed to change when my daughter entered sixth grade. It began at the end of her fifth grade year. I kept trying to talk with her, but she was shying away from me. She wasn’t sharing as much with me. It nearly broke my heart.”


I get it. It’s a strange phase. Middle school can be strange. It is logical, then, that talking to a middle schooler could be strange, too. Talking face to face is the number one and best way to communicate, but it may not always go well. Some situations do warrant other methods of communication. If you have talked and talked, then more talking will not be best perhaps. A unique diversion could do the trick. I have heard stories about one day all is fine, and the next day parents really do not know who or what is in the same place as their son or daughter’s skin, but it is not their child. Overnight, their precious off-spring feels alien. If talking becomes difficult or you would just like additional ways to communicate with your child, here are some alternatives. Of course, if communication becomes a really big issue, then professional help is advised.


  1. Miscellaneous Communications

Send an e-mail. Mail a letter to school for the child to be received at school. Mail a letter to where your child is ie: ex-spouse’s house, camp, or friend’s house. Put sticky notes on the mirror to be receive in the AM or after school or after practice. Place notes in the lunch bag, on your child’s agenda, or in a sports bag. Leave voice mail messages on the home phone to be received after school or on cell phone.


  1. Non-verbal Communication

Additionally, non-verbal communication can be quite useful in this situation – try using sign language. For example, use the time out referee hand signal to indicate a time out, a stoppage, or a calm is needed. This can be especially useful if there is heated communication. Using the raised pointer finger as the one moment sign is useful for when you need to pause to think. Using the palm up sign to indicate a time out, a stoppage, or a calm is needed will be understood by all. Using the thumbs up indicates approval. The peace sign, two fingers up, can show agreement. Have fun creating your own special family hand signals.


  1. Silent Conversation

Silent conversation is not only effective, but fun. Whatever you want to say is written down on paper and each person takes a turn writing something in response to the previous writing. One piece of paper, or a notebook, is used which is shared and pushed back and forth between you and your teen. Absolutely nothing is said. Everythingis written. Even laughter is written in the form of “Ha ha” or a drawn laughing face. This slows down the conversation, provides think time, and decelerates reaction time. It gives each person a chance to truly think what the other is communicating.


  1. Venting Permission

Give your child the gift of a venting session every now and then. With prior knowledge and at an arranged time, your child is allowed to vent and to say anything for about five minutes. With your parental broader view of life and understanding, you know how healthy this is, and by allowing such a communication without judgment, you are truly giving a gift to your child. Is there any speech that is off limits to you and your family such as cursing? Can this be allowed during this time? If not, do you realize the benefit of allowing no restrictions for this venting session? You will truly hear just how upset your child is if there are no restrictions.


This communication technique gives your child the opportunity to get it all out. Using the anger pillow mentioned in my first book as prescribed by your family’s set of parameters might greatly assist with this session, too. Your child will be in a better state to communicate and to be a receptive listener if the emotional explosion – an emotional release of resistance – is allowed.


Whenyougive the permission for the emotional explosion to occur, then you give yourself the gift of time to prepare for it. If it happens without your knowing or permission, you are caught off-guard. You might be thrown off by it and react negatively yourself. Everyone needs a proper time and place to blow some steam. Your middle schooler is an up-and-coming adult who is on a roller coaster with hormones raging through the body. Who could need this communication strategy more? Just about every middle schooler! Of course, this technique would then be followed up with listing many options to improve whatever brought on the need for venting.


For communication suggestions 5-10, read Middle School Years Without Tears: Creating and Managing for Wonderful, Awesome, Successful, and Thrilling Middle School Experiences.