The Rebellious Teen: Plenty of Parental Options

This blog could also be titled: The Rebellious, Demanding, And Extra Energetic Teen because…

Whenever a child wants something more, different, or larger than you, the parent, are ready for, feel comfortable with, or deem is appropriate, the BIG question is, “What do you do about it?”

Do You…

Do you “give in” and provide or allow the request and hope for the best?

Do you stand firm and say, “No,” knowing that resistance (silent treatment), consternation (door slamming), and verbal frustration (talking back, swearing, or threats) from your teen are coming next?

Do you not make any decision because you don’t know which way to turn?

Do you delay answering your child’s request in hope that it’ll pass?

Do you feel overwhelm to the point that it washes over you like a perpetual parental tsunami in slow-mo?

Do you wonder where this strong personality trait came from? My mother’s uncle was known as a hard ass. Maybe this is him reincarnated. Or maybe: It is an ancestral trait that has skipped generations that has now landed in my child’s DNA with ultra strength.

Do you wonder if they switched babies at the hospital because none of the rest of your family behave this way?

Do you wonder if God is testing you by “giving” you this child?

Do you believe this is your personal karma coming back to haunt you?

Do you ever feel frozen by parental fear or anger that runs through your veins like a slow lightning bolt when your child approaches you with yet another request?

Do you constantly feel like the dictator of your family monitoring the speech, actions, and comings and goings of your children?

What If…

What if there were plenty of parental options?

What if there were wonderful, positive, and purposeful reasons your child is behaving so strongly?

What if there were ways to live peacefully with a rebellious, demanding, and energetic teen?

What if there was a path to parent such a child that put you both on the same team?

The FUNDAMENTAL Questions To Ask Are:

What is behind the rebellion, demand, and the extra energy of my child?

What is behind the something more, different, or larger than me that my child is requesting that I’m not ready for?

What is behind my uncomfortable feelings?

What is behind my beliefs that deem  _________(my child’s request)  is inappropriate?

The PERTINENT Questions To Ask Are:

How can I support my child at the same time making sure I feel safe and peaceful, too? (Feeling safe and peaceful are your divine parental rights.)

How can I co-create our lives together with my child?

How can I allow my child’s dreams, wishes, and desires to become reality with peace for both of us?

How can I live empoweredly and parent empoweredly thus instilling empowerment into my child?

How can I bring out my child’s unique, one-of-a-kind divinity blueprint (Divine Wisdom) that is literally stored in each of his or her cells so that my child will automatically sense the degree of divinity within each of his or her requests, dreams, wishes, and desires before they are brought to my attention because if my child is sensing his or her divinity, the useless, low-energy, inherently negative, and not-good-for-anyone requests will not ever be heard by my ears.

How can I live in The Land of Possibility with my child peacefully, empoweredly, creatively, and joyfully?

Notice The Shift?

Have you noticed the vibrational shift within your mind from despair to optimism?

Have you noticed the vibrational shift within your body?

Have you noticed the vibrational shift within your environment?

Have you noticed that the tension in your body is less or has left?

Empowered Parenting Sounds Something Like This:

“I love your ideas! I love your enthusiasm for life! Your vibrancy of this age is so much fun to me. It is so much fun to be your parent. Thank you for being my son/daughter.”

This conversation is a big shift from the resistance of Don’t bother me! Don’t ask me about your ridiculous demands! to love. What will happen to each teen request if your child knows he or she will hear the above statement each time? 

“You know our family lives in The Land of Possibility, so I intend to listen to your ideas. Together, we will support each other. Ideas make life so interesting, yes? Do you agree? Creation is the highest form of living so thank you for bringing another one of your ideas to my attention.”

Can you hear the screeching halt to the incessant gimmies?

“To give your ideas the best attention, _________________________ (remind your child of what is your family’s empowerment plan).

Family Empowerment Plan or FEP

If your child knows that your family has an established method for ideas, requests, demands, or questions to be prepared, presented, discussed, and familial decided upon, would this known FEP process S L O W  down the need for immediate answers to spontaneous requests that may or may not have been given much thought? Yep.

Would having a FEP establish the normalcy of ideas, requests, and desires to be run through a process not only for the teen years but for his or her life?

Would your teen run through the FEP for his or her ideas, requests, and desires independent of you now and into adulthood?

Would your teen carry it into middle school, high school, college, adulthood, and even his or her parenting life?

Would you, by having a FEP, influence your current and future genealogy line?

Would you create an empowered parental life now as well as securing your positive parental legacy of at least three generations?

Establishing A Family Culture

Establishing a family culture of due process allows all ideas to be given the attention they deserve. With using this method, your child knows his or her ideas will be heard, discussed, and given a chance to be implemented and supported. This method also will provide the avenue for other, possible even better ideas, to come forth from multiple sources thus making the FEP process very attractive, indeed.

A family culture of this is the planning place, dreaming place, supportive place, produces an experience of family peace.

Getting Back To The Suggested Conversation…

“In our family, we go about doing requests, ideas, etc. when everyone feels good. Divine Wisdom can be literally felt, and it feels good. Not just good. It’s a good feeling at the Soul level.”

I’ve written often about the different between feeling good and feeling good at the Soul level. Synopsis: People who are coming out of depression enter anger which can lead to revenge. In this stage of healing, revenge can feel good. It feels good because the person is finally doing something about the depression. Certainly, revenge doesn’t create peace and harmony at the Soul level. A person coming out of depression must go through allthe rungs of the emotional ladder: depression, anger, revenge, and frustration up to hope. From hope, it is a quicker journey up the ladder to peace, joy, and happiness, where true healing and full living reside.

As part of my Multi-Dimensional Parenting Program, I will help you create your family’s FEP because is this a perfect plan that is always implemented (interpretation: appreciated) by your teen? Chances are that your teen may skip the due process and go forth without you. When this happens, revert back to your FEP and why your FEP is valuable. Repeat how your family’s FEP creates family harmony, empowerment, and good vibes.

Parents must utilize/model the FEP with their own decisions, too. Implementing it for age-appropriate decisions, of course, this family culture of using its FEP can be helpful for everyone, instill trust with every member, can create a sphere of familial love like no other.

As part of my Multi-Dimensional Parenting Program, I will teach you my simple-to-use Choose, Groove, Move plan for making decisions that can easily be incorporated into your FEP. Empowerment for all is the goal!

Two Cups Of Water

If your child is still asking and demanding repeatedly for things from you, that indicates a pre-existing well of frustration. That is a long way from empowerment. In high school, my daughter learned how to run well by joining the cross country team. The coach told them, “If you are thirsty, you are already two cups dry beyond what your body needs. Drink water even when you’re not thirsty.”

If your child is moaning, whining, and acting angry, he or she already has been frustrated for an extended time – already two cups short of life satisfaction. The thinking and feeling of this status believe that I have to fight for what I want. It says There are people who keep blocking me from what I want.

Keep on with your FEP especially if it’s a relatively new entity in your family culture. The more your child feels free, respected, and empowered, the less “thirsty” for those lower energetic ideas he or she will be. Higher level ideas will be discovered, thought about, and presented to the family.

“I have a great life,” will replace rebellion. Fulfillment will replace frustration. Happiness will replace, “Life sucks.” Contentment will replace agitation. Discernment will replace mindless and repetitive asking. Wanting to be at home more often will replace, “I need to get out of here.”

Enjoy purposeful, positive, and empowered parenting! If I can be helpful to your family:  https://middleschoolyearswithouttears.com/consulting/