I can’t feel my toes. Blisters coming? Why didn’t I wear more comfortable shoes? Wait. These are my comfortable shoes!

Soooo many people here. All different kinds. That woman has tinsel in her hair. How do you get tinsel in one’s hair? Spray it in? Throw it in and hope it stays? Tie it?

That man looks a lot like the lead singer of Kaleo. Did he dress like that on purpose for tonight’s concert?

I hope claustrophobia doesn’t suddenly occur. I’ve never had it before, but there’s always the first time.

Might catch Covid. Oh, it’s here somewhere, for sure. Just got over it. Took a long month to do so…so I’m immune, right?

Ahhhh! The really bright lights in my eyes again! Why did I look up? I want to see Jökull Júlíusson, of course! His voice..it’s so unique. Why does anyone think it’s a good idea to shine really bright lights into people’s eyes exactly in the direction of the area they want to see? Aim them up a bit!

That guy two rows in front of me is vaping right under the NO VAPING OR SMOKING sign. Where’s security? Don’t they see the plumes of his exhale rising up in all of these lights?

There’s room up there so why are you creeping backward into my space? Don’t you know that my back is against a metal barrier so I can’t move anywhere? Plus, I don’t want to move. I like my space. You move up. It was your choice to stand right in front me. Now I have to lean my head side to side to see. Maybe if I yell and clap loud enough, you’ll realize you’re too close to me.

People! Put your phone cameras down so we can see!

That woman has had her hand on her husband’s back the entire time. He is facing away from her like he is ignoring her. Why is she doing that? Is it a control issue? An insecurity issue? A comfort issue? To her? To him? I wonder if she’s been doing that for as long as they’ve been married. I wonder how long they’ve been married?

Those two late 30/early 40 year olds making out on the dance floor need a room. During the ONE love song, I get it. But during the whole concert? Hmmmmm…I probably did this when I was in my 20s. I KNOW I did it publicly in college. I remember not caring who was watching. Yup. That couple is so in the present moment. The alcohol they’ve been ingesting the whole night has helped their not caring who is watching their amorous activities. 

♥♥♥♥♥♥

While LOVING the Kaleo music, it quickly became an exercise of focus. I had choice. I could focus on the numerous irritations, my aching feet, the lovers, and the spilt beer splashes on my shoes, OR I could focus on what I wanted: a great musical experience with my daughter and husband. (The concert was an early birthday gift for him.)

Perspective is everything. I thought about: what influence am I having on the people behind me? Am I blocking anyone’s view? Am I annoying anyone? I would want others to have a good time and to be patient with me so chill, Lizabeth. I caught myself getting consumed by the irritations and kept refocusing myself on the music, the singing, being with my two favorite people, seeing Kaleo in person, and the gorgeous chandeliers in Charlotte’s The Filmore Music Venue. 

I mean who would think to hang about 20 of these gorgeous chandeliers in a mostly black, somewhat grungy music venue? I don’t know whose brainchild this was, but THANK YOU!

The light show with the music (not the blasts) was fabulous. The music was incredible and way better in person. Being with my daughter, who knew almost every word to every song, and husband has made a forever memory. I know now Kaleo music much better. Walking out of the venue after the encore performance, I was floating with excitement for the experience we just shared. I was electrified. I was going on and on about how much fun it was. I was filled with thankfulness and gratitude. 

Yes, perspective is everything. 

It is the same with parenting. There are MANY irritations we parents could get hung up on, focus on, and complain about for yeeeeaaars. But, we always have choice. We always have options with everything. 

1. While your son is talking back, you could look at his nose that you helped to create. 
2. While your daughter is having a clothing fit while complaining about not having enough clothes in her large closet just after you took her shopping last weekend, you can focus on her two arms, two legs, two feet, two ears, and two elbows that are perfectly formed that she puts clothing on.
3. While your child struggles with math for the nth time and you have to explain (again) how to do long division, you can focus on the opportunity to help your child while some students have absent parents, working parents, or no parents to support them. 
4. While your child makes repeated attempts to have you change your mind about him or her going to a party where there is no adult supervision, you can send love to your child and think of alternative activities to do with your child to distract from the party wishes.
5. You can show empowerment in the midst of a hurtful gossiping situation your child experienced recently.
6. You can remind your child that your family’s culture is always: We live in the Land of Possibility when he or she is going on and on and on and on complaining about a teacher or school unfairness. 
7. While your child is late coming home in time for curfew, you can put toilet paper or crinkled newspaper pages all over his or her room during the “late” minutes instead of getting angry. (Oh yes, I have other creative ideas as well to encourage on time behavior!)
8. You can draw out from your child his or her Divine Wisdom to address annoying and non-annoying whininess, complaining, or begging. 
9. You can remember: I am never stuck. My child is never stuck. I always have options with everything. Especially when the principal calls for a parent conference late on a Friday evening for early Monday morning. 

Half way through the concert, I got this blog idea! So it was fun and purposeful!

Thank you for the great experience, the blog post idea, and for sharing your talents with the world, Jökull Júlíusson. 

Today was a good day. It began with a morning yoga class. This particular class’s structure was holding poses for three minutes each instead of moving from one pose to another in rapid fashion. Today was: follow the teacher’s instructions, shift, adjust, and hold and hold and hold. Three minutes.

180 seconds doesn’t sound like much, but when a pose may or may not feel good, it can be a looooooong time.

“Try to stay in the present moment,” we were advised. “Don’t think about what you need to do after yoga class. Focus on the pose.”

While I was able to get into the pose, make my adjustments, and hold the pose (well…I held the poses as long as my body said yes), I found myself distracted. So I began to look at my yoga mat.

Actually, I have two mats. I use both of them now that I want more support. The top blue one is my first personal yoga mat ever. The second red one is much newer, highly recommended, and costly. Spending more than I ever thought I would for a yoga mat, it was to be a big step up for my practice.

I was told, “It’s a game-changer. You’ll love it. It’ll take you to the next level for sure. You’ll never go back to anything else.”

And, that is what I wanted: to up level my yoga. Now, about four years later, I can barely see it because it’s under my old, worn out, original yoga mat. The newer, “better” one didn’t work for me. I had a hard time sliding my feet on it. Sure, it kept my feet in place for holding poses, so it might’ve been useful during the 180 second holds today, but I kept it under my good, ol’ faithful yoga mat. 

The next pose, pigeon pose, is one that requires nearly lying face down on the mat with one leg extended and one leg tucked under one’s belly. With my head angled downward, I found myself staring again at the 10+ year old mat with numerous not-quite-holes through it. They were more like divots as if on a golf course after a four-day tournament. 

In those divots, I could see years of stretches, sense sweat sliding down and dropping from my nose, hear labored grunts, and feel my dog’s tail touching my legs while he walked under my downward dog poses.

In the scratches and little tears on my mat, I remembered doing yoga with my daughter outside in the spring sun after a long Michigan winter. The grass was so new and eager for growth that it was the perfect cushion for our mats. 

Also, the old, blue mat brought back memories of doing yoga “with” my daughter when she was working in California. Because of the time difference,  we could do yoga together in the morning by FaceTime before she went to work. One of us played a class on the TV. We’d watch, move into Warrior II poses, and pretty much literally enjoy the class together. 

Being reflective – even if it is about a deteriorating yoga mat – isn’t new to me. As a writer, it comes naturally. I see far more in events and situations than most people. Yes, it can be an annoying trait to those who are literal.

“The person just chose mayonnaise for his burger, and there’s nothing more to it!” my husband would tell me.

My response, “But, from all the possible toppings, why mayo? And, why just mayo? It seems odd to only have one topping for one’s burger to me when a plethora of topping options exist.”

Oh yes, I could spend some serious time in that conversation.

So here I am gifted with a whole hour segmented into precious 180 second portions to ponder what this mat has meant to me, the memories held with it, and what future possibilities exist for it assuming I continue to engage in yoga practice. And, I will continue with yoga because

• What we value, we do.
• What we believe will provide us with forward movement, we pursue.
• What we like, we keep…like my old, worn out mat. 

These life truths are what drive me to write, speak, and help parents navigate the child-rearing years.

I value it.

I believe I am making forward progress.

And, I like it.

For more information about what I do, read the information here: https://middleschoolyearswithouttears.com/consulting/.