Successes
This page is for those who submit stories to www.middleschoolyearswithouttears.com regarding the ways they looked for the positive and improved their lives by a refocusing of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings! This page highlights successes in which students were able to produce a peaceful outcome for all those involved! Let’s celebrate success!
Reciprocal Positive Adult-Child Collaboration
As a former teacher, I can honestly say that I learned much from my students about life. They were excellent “teachers” to me about life.
Does it matter the direction of the learning? Nope. Does it matter who is the teacher and who is the student when it comes to learning about life? Nope. Is it best when the role of teacher is an easy back and forth swing? Yes. Does the role of teacher mean “the one in charge?” Nope.
As a parent, I have learned a great deal from my daughter and am better for it. There is an inter-wisdom-sharing mechanism between us. It is valued, safe, and beneficial. My honoring her Wisdom led to confidence within herself. She understood and understands today that her Wisdom is reliable to accurately guide her for her life path.
This is positive not only when life is going along smoothly, but also when life is full of those bumps in the road. When trauma, difficulty, or adversity strikes a person’s life, it is imperative that positive support be available…no matter how old the person is, and no matter where it comes from.
Just as children need to experience positive relationships, so do adults. Children being able to share their wisdom with others is important. I believe we all come forth into these bodies to have life experiences with internal Wisdom with a capital W. Wisdom that, if it is honored, discussed, and respected, can come from a variety of sources that isn’t age-specific.
Listen…really listen…and learn. Allow this to be an easy back and forth swing. Install your own inter-wisdom-sharing mechanism into your relationships and be better for it.
Teaching Self-Regulation To Children
Don’t let ‘em in! Catch ‘em! Catch those unwanted feelings, thoughts, and beliefs before they internalize into one’s experience. This is an essential part of self-regulating one’s life.
Those nasty thoughts that say we are not as good as others, that tell us we should be doing something else, that state we are bad, or even worse, that run negative emotional “tapes” over and over in our minds literally destroying our well-being.
Since these feelings, thoughts, and beliefs can do much harm for years, it is essential to catch ‘em before they enter. A mental gate of sorts is needed. Teaching this to children, and even adults, is an important life skill.
We can’t be in front of our child all the time being the guard of the gate, so children must be taught to be their own gate keeper. And, it can be a fun learning, too. Using imagery, a child can establish his or her own gate surrounding him or herself. What is it made of? Bricks? Stone? Wood? How tall is is? Flags at the top? What does the gate look like?
Now, establish the gate keeper. An angelic being? A replica of the child? A frog? Well…anything can be the gate keeper as long as it is effective!
This gate keeper allows the child to sense when negative feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are approaching the gate. Ah ha! Caught! Now, the empowered child has the option of accepting the feelings, thoughts, and beliefs or tossing them out. Yes, self-regulation is an essential life skill.